Simpolitics: Kiss My Broke Ass!

Welcome to a long-overdue edition of Simpolitics. It's been a while. There's been a lot I could have written about over the last couple of months. So much in fact that I think I would have had to give up on life in order to report on them. Today I am back with a cause that is very close to my heart!

I'm British. Here in the UK we have a Prime Minister who loves to preach austerity to those in extreme poverty while making sure that the rich stay rich and keep getting richer. He's a prick! While the European Union heavily criticises the underhanded tactics of the government as they try to be done with social responsibility, those in poverty are stepped on by high society - in the streets and all over the media, especially by the likes of the high and mighty trollop that is Katie Hopkins - before they look down to see what they just stepped in.

I'm very passionate about extreme poverty and extreme wealth, not to mention the one-sided battle that rages in between as politicians laugh and remind us that we don't have rights, that we have privileges, and that we certainly don't all have rights to privileges. So naturally, my attention is most often focused on happenings across the pond in the good ol' US of A.

Who wants a fight? No, seriously, who wants to get fucked up?

Simpolitics fights back against the verbally cocky one percent.

Classic rock band KISS were only recently inducted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Along with that event came much controversy. I can't see why. They fucking rock. Or at least they used to. But aside from producing some of the greatest music of the '70s, they're known for other things, like having more merchandise than Star Wars, Gene Simmons trying to be an actor, Gene Simmons marrying a Playboy model who's a better actor than he is, Gene Simmons having a geriatric sex tape, Gene Simmons having a TV show, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons...

There's one thing I always agreed on with Gene Simmons, though. All rock bands set out to sell out, otherwise there isn't much point (other than the love of the craft, which without there is no soul to your music). You just don't have to be an arrogant prick about it, right? And there's only so much you need, right?

Monty Python's Terry Jones on the wealthy fat cat
Apparently not...
Simmons, one of the one percent of the world's wealthiest people, now believes that poor people owe him!

In a recent interview, the poodle-permed melty-faced rock star traitor stated: "The one percent pays 80 percent of all taxes. 50 percent of the population of the US pays no taxes. The one percent provides all the jobs for everybody else. If the one percent didn't exist there would be chaos and the economy would drop dead. Try being nice to rich people. I don't remember the last poor person who gave me a job!"

Understandably, many of you may see sense in what Simmons says. After all, what are taxes to the world's one percent when it comes to maintaining a country without free healthcare and whose political influence and military industry currently relies on returning favours because capitalism isn't working out quite the way they expected? It must hardly be water off a duck's arse for somebody who hasn't known poverty for over forty years and who knows no limits when it comes to stamping his band's name on every piece of shit imaginable.

Gene Simmons KISS perfume

There's a reason the one percent pays 80% of all taxes in America though, and that's because 50 percent of the population is broke-ass poor. You don't remember the last time a poor guy gave you a job? That's because you're privileged. That's also because you didn't want to work for a living. You wanted to be a sell-out rock star from the beginning. But if you're so fucking ignorant that you don't even remember the last time you stepped inside a convenience store, they're not run by wealthy people, at least not in the UK, and taking a look at the Rust Belt (and the UK's own situation with secondary industry), the only industry keeping the US afloat is tertiary/retail and finance. Both of those are using each other for crutches as it is.

I could understand how much it would cost to own or rent a store or a piece of a strip mall, and a man might make the money to maintain that, but he surely doesn't go home wealthy, and America is the land of strip malls. Here is a recent chart of approximately how much money is in circulation in the US right now and you may notice something's off...

Staggering proportions of poverty as the wealthy own everything

A fifth of the population isn't making money at all, in fact they're constantly in debt. Being unemployed isn't always a case of not wanting to work, unlike Gene Simmons. People like Simmons need to get that out of their thick skulls. If America's money is in THEIR pocket, then it isn't in circulation.  And if it isn't in circulation, then no poor guy is getting paid unless he's getting the bare minimum to survive on welfare.

If you're not directly giving a poor guy a job, then how is he benefiting from you? Living the dream in Hollywood, fancy cars and fine dining doesn't help the poor. The fraction of your wealth that you DO spend only goes to the fellow rich as the middle class struggle not to follow the mudslide into poverty. When's the last time you even earned the national minimum wage, Simmons? Have you ever been taxed from that alone? It makes a huge difference having to pay taxes when you're earning a pittance.

The one percent and those close behind are the reason that half of the US is in poverty, because even if they want to work, there is no money left to earn once the middle class have earned their cut. What are they supposed to do? Split it between them? You, Simmons, have a social responsibility beyond the minimum taxes you shell out to serve your government in trying to fix the shit you're causing. 


IT'S ALL IN YOUR POCKETS, SIMMONS!

And if the one percent didn't exist, there would be chaos alright. People wouldn't know what hit them. All this money suddenly flying around, an economy restored to full wealth virtually overnight. That's the kind of shit people dream of as they put a lien on their home, or as they sell their car to pay the electricity bill. Instead they all head for the nearest lottery machine in the hopes that they too can be ignorant to the real problem, just like you. But the real problem is you, and you know it.

No, instead, let's imagine that the other 99 percent disappeared over night. What would your money be worth then? How would you survive without people scrambling to take your money just so they can afford to live? What then, oh great one from the planet Moron?!

Classic KISS band tour photography

Once upon a time, you embodied the American Dream, even before the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Steve Jobs. You had opportunities in every direction when what you did was original, but you haven't contributed to a decent album in over thirty years and now you have all this wealth and swagger, but you have the style of a grandma that refuses to believe she's gotten old, covered in mink fur and lavender oil to disguise the stench of piss and the stale hot air of your rotted intellect. That's what having so much money does to people. It gives them the incentive to give up on life and to fester in the drama of having nothing to care about.

Poor people don't owe you; not in America, nor anywhere else on this planet!

-Dan Ashley
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