After last week's failed coup attempt against Deputy Prime Porkchop Nick Clegg at the hands of sole-scapegoat Lord Oakeshott, the public had come to understand that the Business Secretary Vince Cable's former confidant secretly commissioned a poll to undermine the leadership of the Lib Dems' top boy, which had then been "leaked" to a national newspaper. Making for the exit after being publicly spanked and disowned by cable, Oakeshott's actions nonetheless served to add insult to injury following the frankly disasterous voting stats of late. Can't say we didn't tell you so, Nick. Being Cameron's bitch isn't good for the reputation, after all.
Like flies on shit, the mainstream media jumped all over the possibility that certain members of the Lib Dem closet *cough* cabinet (I really have to stop mistaking those two) have been itching to see Cable succeed Clegg, and the sooner the better, since next year is the time of general elections and clean slates etc. As a well-publicised show of solidarity, Clegg and Cable buggered off for a pint and were photographed in various Westminster-style catalogue poses with pint of bitter in hand. You know, something about that old show doesn't sit right with me, especially since nobody clearly cares enough about the Lib Dems to want to see them patch up their generation-gap bromance!
|Germans in a half-shell - Merkel Power!|
I think I'd like to see some leaders in UK politics pay some fucking attention to what we're saying and to do what they're paid to do, by the taxpayer. I'd like to see a few more jawlines, too. Maybe if these folk treated us better, they'd be able to get out and enjoy themselves more without the fear of being egged and floured. Then they could burn off the excess calories to whatever pie-eating contests they've been engaging in with the old-school. Of course, when you have your fingers in as many pies as you can get your hands on, it would be a terrible waste to have to tighten your belt...
After hearing the government's promises this week in the Queen's Speech, many of you may have been surprised to find a few you could actually agree with, such as the war on Zero Hour Contracts and substandard wages. As much as I agree with that, I wonder how it's going to affect those clinging onto existence with what little money they can get their hands on when Jobseeker's Allowance already pays 1% less than the absolute bare minimum unemployed individuals require to survive in the UK.
Yes there were quite a few questions raised, and quite a bit of skepticism, but none more skeptic than questions raised on Cameron's new Fracking Law. You see, as it happens, Cameron used the Queen's Speech as a setup to his latest proposal to change Trespassing Law so that Fracking Corporations can freely drill for shale gas beneath your property from a safe distance. Safe for who?
The only people brought in to decide whether fracking will be safe in this country belong to fracking A-holes such as the much publicised Cuadrilla. That's like Coca-Cola saying that Coca-Cola is good for you because they say so and they have friends in high places, such as the FDA (US Food and Drug Administration). That's like the Surgeon General saying that smoking is good for pregnant women. That's like.... SO FUCKING MORONIC!!! not to mention that if a disaster does happen, like all those tremors caused by fracking anticipate, then frackers will have the money to pay off the government, and the victims such as the environment and its inhabitants will be left to rot.
Protesters made the wonderful act of condemning Cameron's country constituency home in due response, which was a smooth move indeed. But I have to be open and honest when I say that it just isn't enough. When it isn't enough that fracking companies are given free reign over the countryside, despite massive protest on behalf of the public (we've seen the effects in the States), and what the government sells off is never good enough for them, it just wasn't good enough that the police were brought in to handle protesters with unnecessary force. It wasn't enough that the courts seemed to be just as biased as the police, who acted like thuggish private security goons.
It isn't enough that you can own your property and the land that your property sits on. Those frackers won't have to pay you a penny to rape the absolute shit out of the earth beneath your feet, even if you own it, and there's nothing you can do about it. So I guess we'll just have to follow their good example and trespass like the country's going out of style!
A massive thank you to protesters everywhere for your solid work. A special tribute to you...
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