And that's the sad part, I desire to be more, desire to be a better actor and desire to do better not only for myself but for them aswell, it infuriates me to no end when i attempted to help my daughter spell her name only for her to digress with each comment i made, each attempt i made at helping her but in the end we had to stop as i felt that i was intimidating her into getting it right, which inturn only frustrated her thus making her second guess any progress that she had made.
So i gave her and her brother a bath dressed them in their pajamas's and read them a bedtime story, but still i felt angry at myself, I have this innate desire to succeed and do to my past battles, trauma and anger that has effected my life i believe that alot of it is boiling to the surface, the self doubt, the frustration and the negativity that i once shunned is reappearing and if i don't stop it now i may end up damaging my children's lives the same way my father had damaged mine, I love my children, they are my life but i never want to see them fail at anything, it scares me because now more than ever they will need to overcome societies perception of them and have more opportunities than what we have now, as our countries financial situation worsens I do not want them to suffer for my mistakes, and the mistakes of those that are supposed to lead us, I worry about the future but shun my worries in order to allow my children to just be themselves, just be children and not look at englands financial crisis, hopefully one day i can save them from the burdens of worry, agony and anguish that I now hold....
I've heard alot of complaints about the Royal Rumble, most of them are directed at the winner, Sheamus.
On the contrary, for all the choices that the WWE brass have made for Rumble winner, i belive that Sheamus was the most logical, If Jericho's feud with CM Punk has been etched in stone since January 30th's Raw Supershow, Randy Orton is no way near at 100% and has a permanent position in the WWE main event scene, Kane and John Cena have a feud climax coming up at Elimination chamber so there is no need for either man to win the rumble.
The WWE needed an up and coming star, someone who has proven time and time again that he can deliver in the main event and that man is Sheamus, from day one Sheamus has utilized his role as either Heel or Face and did the best that he could in that position, Sheamus has excelled and has developed a solid fan following, he has even broken away from the generic promos and has placed himself as a promising main event face on the Smackdown brand, so now Sheamus has a choice, to either face the Raw or Smackdown world champion once Elimination chamber reaches its climax and i hope Sheamus chooses to compete for the world title against Daniel Bryan.
Last year both men were left off the Wrestlemania card in favor of Michael Cole and the King's botch-fest, now these two have a chance to steal the show and prove that they belong in their desired spots, the fact is the WWE can easily allow this feud to happen as they have managed to acquire a safe mainevent that will guarantee a huge payday for the company and with the Rock vs Cena headlining the show the creative team can take risks on the world title matches and bill matches that the fans desire rather than just rely on guys that are guaranteed draws.
So Johnny Ace's job's safe?, or so it seems?, with Triple H and taker renewing their feud this week only time will tell if the match will have the desired effect similar to Michaels vs Taker
which ended in the eventual retirement of michaels, will the final match for these two end in the same stipulation?, or will it progress into a third and final bout?
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and you can now watch me on youtube as I playthrough Darksouls.
See you in two days guys