Superhero reboots, Bales cowl, and celebrity actors

This article was originally going to just be about "wrestlers" as actors but i felt it should be so much more...

Today it was learned (or in fact made public) that Christian Bale would be hanging up the cowl with the final film in the Nolan Trilogy Dark Knight rises, for Bale, thus this puts an end to rumors and speculation of Bales continuing involvement with the franchise.

This is nothing new as we all knew well and truly that Bale would cut ties with the franchise once Nolan did, the same way Keaton hung up the Cowl once Burton was no longer involved with it or in a similar vein Toby Maguire hanging up his web shooters (metaphorically as he never used them in raimi's version of the character), and thus the franchise was rebooted time and time again.

The fact is as long as there's an audience willing to watch it, they will make more, with or without the key components, when Keaton left sadly more Bat movies were made more off the wall, a farcry from the two original and rather unique films that Burton had dreamt up, but they still soil the franchise and will continue to do so for all of eternity.

Rumor has it that the franchise will be rebooted after the Justice league movie having a new story told, a new interpretation of the character, I however would like to see something more, move away from the origin story and move into something else, they could easily start the new franchise by lightly touching on it with under the red hood, add the key characters play on the comics strengths and batman's weaknesses to come to the aid of his former ward prior to his so called demise, we all would love to see it, why not start from there instead of starting right from the beginning time and time again, it gets old, fast...

Now down to bad celebrity acting....


John Morrison apparently announced that he wishes to take up an acting career now that his wrestling career is over, it's fine but the fact is he may suffer the same fate as those before him (and i'm not just talking about wrestlers), the fact is a ton of celebrities have tried there hand at acting and have sucked major balls at it, so instead of complaining i will give you my top five...

1. Paris Hilton



Don't let the smile fool you, she's one of the worst offenders to ever grace our screens, her career has spanned years from a sex tape that only lasted minutes, she was considered a goddess to many and someone who girls all over the world would like to see there BFF, to me she is nothing more than Z list trash who had no business even being considered for a film role.

Worst Offenders

House of wax:

Her appalling performance was only hindered by the fact that she was killed (and rather abruptly) in this movie, still with her crappy performance the movie drew poor numbers and was lackluster at best due to bad scripting, bad acting and all around bad direction.

The Hottie and the Nottie

She couldn't even play and dumb blonde people!, the film didn't even earn back its budget, grossing a mere 26 grand and has been placed in history as the worst film ever reviewed with that under her belt Paris Hilton should consider just to sit back, take her daddies money and stop acting, Please!!!.

2. Hulk Hogan


The man who was John Cena before John Cena even realised it, yes, he is Hulk Hogan, Hogan is probably one of the biggest all time draws in wrestling history, but did his drawing power cross over to box office takings?, no but it didn't stop Hogan from throwing up more and more flops over the years.

Worst Offenders:

Suburban Commando:

Hulk Hogan?, an Alien you say?, this movie would explain alot considering the fact that he managed to kill one wrestling company and is doing the same with another, Hogan's films showed his lack of acting talent similar to his lack of decency he has shown in regards to putting other wrestlers over, his characters had no logic, his characters were all dimwitted and felt like he was cutting the same damn promo all the damn time, the panning and lack of takings from this movie led hogans acting career on a downward spiral but sadly was not the end of it, there was more to come!

The Secret Agent Club:
The films so bad, that no critic wanted to give it a review, Hogan (in this interpretation) plays a spy who stole a gun, and then gets found out (gasps), sadly it bode well for anyone who has seen this movie.

3. 50 Cent


The Funny Thing about Curtis "50 cent" Jackson is that he does try, he tries hard to actually act, he's had coaching, he's done read through's and has attempted to get his projects off the ground but sadly his movies are rather lackluster.

Worst Offenders:

Get Rich Or Die Trying:

Everything in this movie was done right, from the writing to the direction, to the fact that the majority of the supporting cast picked up the slack and managed to make 50 come of credible but the sad fact is they made him too credible, so credible that the world thought he could act, this movie was a mere stepping stone and led him to the dismal reoccurring gangster orientated shitpieces that you see today.

Righteous Kill:

what do you get when you mix Deniro, Pacino and 50 cent, a movie so bad that it should never have been made, I bet lionsgate were scratching there heads when this one flopped.

4.John Cena

Many comparisons have been made between Cena and Hogan, both these guys are the Icons of there respective generations and both (with help from Vince Mcmahon) have had awful careers in film, like Hogan Cena's films have been panned something aweful, from the bad scripting, aweful direction and lackluster performance on Cena's behalf and have left even the casual wrestling fan fuming to no end.

Worst Offenders:

The Marine

Take every Steven Segal Movie known to man, throw them in a blender, and some dog feces and you would have the marine, the fact that Cena's character seems emotionless pales in comparison to the fact that he doesn't even suffer an injury in this movie, he literally plows through every villain to achieve his goal and literally makes my stomach turn.

12 Rounds:

In similar vein to Die Hard with a vengeance Cena is literally playing the hero (again gasp!) his delivery is robotic, he acts liks hes cutting a promo and even fans of the 90's would probably throw this movie in the trash, the sad thing is all the things Cena rags on the rock for have relevance here, his lack of ability in front of the camera is caused by the fact that he half asses his film career, you cannot treat it secondary to wrestling, because you end up with flops like this.

5.Vinnie Jones



Lock, Stock and Two smocking barrels gave us the debut of Vinnie Jones on the big screen it was merely a high point of an actor (and i use that term loosely) who was pigeon holed as a tough guy, after his performance in the box office hit roles came flooding in allowing Jones to capitalize on his fifteen minutes of fame and amass a slew of crappy movies inwhich he plays the same boring character over and over again.

Worst Offenders:

X men - The Last Stand:

What the hell was he thinking?, He played an unstoppable character a character that was never a mutant that (like Bane in batman and Robin) was merely placed as a supporting player and with Jones securing the role led to a rather bitter Englishman in a muscle suite, it did nothing for Jones and is one of the main reasons why i consider this movie the end of a rather amazing franchise, It's literally toilet paper!

The Condemned:

What do you get when you add Lionsgate, Vinnie Jones and the WWE, one of the worst action movies in history, this movie was so bad that Steve Austin broke his three picture deal with WWE studio's, the man didn't even want to be associated with it!

Poor Bloke, at least there's the straight to DVD market.

So for Morrison i leave these parting words, you want to move into acting, your clean cut physic and chiseled looks won't get you the main roles but learn from my top five and dedicate yourself to the profession, study it, and by all means if the script seems bad then by all means throw it away!.

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See you in a couple of days for more #Nerdgenious

Have a swell couple of days guys

Mike


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